Today's update from the funny farm...

It is officially my weekend now. I got home from work at about 4.15 this morning. I read my book for about an hour or so and then turned off the light to go to sleep. Jacob woke me up at 7ish asking me if I could call the insurance and check on a prescription for him. I forgot as soon as put my head back down. Then at 9.09 my cell phone was ringing, it was him. Can you take me up to Wausau to see the dermatologist, Dr. Kumm, seriously try not to giggle. Ok, I'll set the alarm. I had to get up around 11 or so, so I could pick him up at 12.15.

We get to his doctor and I tell him to make sure Lefty and Poncho stay in his underwear. The first time we saw the doctor, Lefty was hanging out for the whole world to see. I almost hurt myself trying not to laugh. I think the intern who was observing almost hurt himself too. This time however, he didn't have to take his pants off since there was a woman in the room too, a nurse I hope.

This next week is going to suck. I work 9p-7a on Thursday thru Saturday and then 6p-4a on Sunday. However on Friday I need to be up around 11 so that I can get to Polito's by noon for a mini reunion from my 7 Habits training. I'm going to be tired. Then I have a meeting at work at 4pm, then I need to be back for my shift that night. Seriously, I don't know if I'll be able to stay awake that night during my shift.

So the newest update is that I'm seriously pissed off with Rich. As previously mentioned he and I hung out on Tuesday of last week.

Well he didn't make it to either the Jewelry or Julie party. To quote him, "I'm so sick right now, I'm trying to puke." He was supposed to have stayed at our house on Wednesday night as well, but that didn't happen.

So then on Thursday I'm at home, cleaning up the house, doing some laundry and my Dad is in the garage fixing the garage door opener. The phone rings, caller ID announces that it is the City of Stevens Point with a 346-prefix. I immediately thought it was the Sheriff's Department for Jacob. He has to go into jail on April 3rd for 8 days. That is his sentence for his 2nd DUI in November. I don't tell many people since I'm not happy about it, but it is what it is. So I answered the phone.

"Amy, I need $200."

"Who is this?" It wasn't Jacob.

"This is Rich. Can you come down with $200 and pick me up?"

"What did you do?"

"I got arrested. OWI. 3rd offense." My dad comes into the house and asks is it about Jacob. I said no, it was something else.

I'm pissed off.

He tells me that he went out Wednesday night and drove drunk, got arrested. However, Kori was at the Sheriff's department with his wallet, he would call me later. I still haven't gotten that call.

So I learn from Jacob that Kori and Rich hung out for a few hours on Wednesday night and then she went home. Rich was then hanging out with his friend Nick and he drove Nick's car. That is the story that Rich told Jacob.

Now here's what really happened. Rich was driving Kori's car. She is not 21 and she was drunk as well. (Really next time I learn she is in a bar drinking, I'm calling the police on her.) She thought it was a better idea to give him her keys than try driving herself. What a skank hole bitch, who I hope gets syphillis and dies alone in the jungle of Colombia.

Rich being a male, so therefore is an idiot, pulled into Kwik Trip. Where not 1, not 2 but 3 police cars were sitting. He spoke to them, (the same cop "Doug" from Tuesday night) and then got into the car and drove away. They followed.

He told Whori (Kori) that they weren't going to get pulled over and then two seconds later, he did.

So okay, I'm not pissed that he got arrested, because he's 34 and should know by now, right. I'm pissed that he lied to me. If you want me to bring you $200 at least tell me the fuckin' truth.

So I'm all pissed and then Jacob gets on my last nerve so I am in a bad mood when I went to work. Thank god Kirsten worked that night and she helped get me into a better mood. That girl can be a life saver sometimes.

All I can keep thinking is that I told him that he never has to apologize to me unless he pisses me off. He can start apologizing at anytime now.

Not sure if I mentioned this or not, but Rich asked me if I could help get Whori into AIG, where I work. That will never happen in this lifetime or the next because I can't stand her and I feel she is a poisonous tumor on the butt of humanity. Really go back to Illinois Whori. Jacob got pissed off at her the other day and called her on it. She later apologized to him, but Jacob still told Rich that it was uncalled for and if it happens again, he isn't going to put up with either of them again. I just want my CD back before he cuts ties with Rich.

So Rich hasn't spoken to me, and I'm not going to contact him first. Tomorrow I may see him, since I have to take Jacob downtown to do some paperwork for when he goes in on Saturday and Rich may go with us since he has to take a breathalizer test everyday. Oh for joy.

I'm sure I will have updates for tomorrow. Happy reading.

A great story for the whole family

Let me take you back to Tuesday afternoon...

I had gotten a voicemail from my friend Rich that he had left on Monday night. I was worried and concerned by the voicemail so I called and left him message to call me since I was concerned. Then I texted him after about an hour with no contact, he was fine he just got pissed off with his sister and needed to vent. Next time I told him, to call the house, I was still up.

Fast forward about 7 hours.

I'm at home in my jammies watching TV with Jacob and reading a book at the same time (Jacob was watching wrestling) when the phone rings. Caller ID announces that it is Rich (aka Turd Monkey). He talks to Jacob and then asks to talk to me. Since the TV was on and as loud as some jets taking off I went into the kitchen to talk with him. I could tell that he had already been drinking. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out for a beer. I said "Right now?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I guess." So I give the phone back to Jacob and tell him that I plan to go out with Rich. He tells Rich "I don't want her home at 3 in the morning." Apparently he promised that I would be home early.

So I go pick up Turd Monkey and we go to Sandy's Bar. We proceed to laugh at the 12 year old at the end of the bar who we had seen previously. This guy is really like 25 but really looks to be about 12. So of course add beer and I'm the life of the party right, well we were laughing and picking on this guy from afar and we had 4 beers all night.

So Rich says he needs to get cigarettes and then he wants to go to Southpoint for coffee and breakfast.

Picture it, Plover WI at 2.10am...

We pull into Kwik Trip since that is the only place open all night apparently, since they are open all night, of course the cops are there getting coffee and I'm sure a donut or two. Rich is drunk off his ass and can't walk a straight line by himself so I go into the store with him to get the cigarettes and monster drinks. We were trying to bypass the cops but since they took up residence at the check out we were pretty much screwed.

So I've got the drinks on the counter, I turn and ask him, "Do you need to pee?" Since it had been about 5 minutes since the last time he went it was a valid question.

"No, I'm good."

I turn back to get his cigarettes and pay for his crap, when out of the corner of my eye I see him approach the cops and start talking to them. Oh dear lord...

"Hi I'm Rich, I live just down the street. I've had two OWI's."

The cop introduced himself but I don't recall hearing his name, I did hear him say, I hope you aren't going to get a third OWI tonight. Turd Monkey said "No, I have a friend driving me."

I'm thinking shut up now, stupid. I walk him back outside and put him in the car. He tells me that the cop asked him too if he needed to pee. That is just wonderful...

So we go to Southpoint and get coffee. Of course the minute we sit down, "I've got to pee." We are in the farthest corner away from the Men's room. "Can you make it over there by yourself or do I need to walk with you?"

"No I should be okay."

So he of course knew two people on his way to the potty and when he gets back, we order. The waitress has seen us here many times and could probably recite his order by heart. So as we are sitting there he keeps lurching and grabbing the table so he won't fall.

"Do you want me to sit next to you so you don't fall?" I ask.

"No I'm good."

5 minutes later, "You need to move over here." So being the loving person I am, I move to sit next to him. I had to keep my hand on his shoulder the entire, let me repeat that ENTIRE time he was eating. He got alot on his shirt and pants but I'm not his laundress so I don't care really.

After 4 beers and 2 cups of coffee, now I have to pee. So I moved my chair next to him so if he falls over, it won't be onto the floor. I pee and get back, thank god he was still in his chair.

45 cups of coffee later (that might not be an accurate count) and he is still drunk as a skunk. Just not as tipsy as earlier. So here it is 3.15 in the morning and Jacob calls. "Where are you?"

"Southpoint trying to sober someone up."

Meanwhile Rich is saying I'm sorry, don't be mad at me, I still love you. To Jacob. Jacob says okay and I'll see you later.

So finally I get Rich out of the building and he's having a cigarette and I told him he has to finish that before getting into my car. So he's standing there swaying like a willow tree and telling me he's so drunk. Well duh, I would never have figured that one out Sherlock.

He then proceeds to tell me that he's only had 4 beers and hes this drunk. I said you had 4 with me, how many did you have before that. 18. So in total you had 22. "Really?"

I get him in the car and he asks me what time my "Julie" party is on Wednesday. I said my "Jewelry" party is at 6.30. He continues to call it a Julie party and then it becomes my birthday party. Who am I to try and correct a drunk man? So I'm driving him home and he asks me what happened tonight.

Seriously you can't remember 2 hours ago? So I tell him about the cops, who I then named Doug since he wanted the cops name. "Where did that happen?" We were just passing Kwik Trip and I said, "Right there." "When?" "2 hours ago."

"Oh. Did I get married?" "Did you want to be?"

I then proceeded to tell him about my old roommate, Smelly Kelly and how my cat, Thor wouldn't go near her after awhile. "Who's Thor?" "My cat." "Oh, Coco." "No my cat's name is Thor." "Who's Thor?" Really am I in an Abbott and Costello episode? For argument's sake I said that Coco the cat wouldn't go near Smelly Kelly after awhile. Oh, Ok.

Then he launches into a tirade about his "twat" sister in law and how she's being a major bitch, blah blah blah. I get him home and I ask, are you able to get downstairs? "Yeah I should be okay, I just hope I don't wake my brother." "Well let me know if you need anythng, I don't care what time it is. Okay?" "Ok."

He gets in the house and I go home. It is now 4.30am. Jacob was awake when I got home, but he wasn't too upset since I told him it wasn't my fault and he couldn't be mad at Rich either.

So here I sit laughing my butt off and I hope you enjoyed the story too.

Tuesday

So I had to go to the gyno today. Oh for joy, I hate it when I have to have that exam, but right now I guess it is required of me. He is going to up the dose on the clomid and I have to try and get Jacob in for an analysis. I'm sure you know which kind. So I guess we'll see what happens with that.

Then I got a voicemail, apparently from last night just after I had turned my phone off. So then I was concerned about that, I left him a message but I didn't hear back so I texted him. He apparently was drunk last night from the sound of his voice on the message. So I wonder if Whori the ex girlfriend (real name Kori) is the problem. I hope he kicks her to the curb and then lets me drive over her.

So I am preparing for my Lia Sophia party and I have to do laundry too. If anyone wants to order I would be happy to send the link to my consultant Becky.

I will post more after I find out what is going on with Rich so that everyone can be in the loop, I swear his life is like a soap opera, without commercials.

Saturday

So okay, I don't have much going on. I worked last night and was able to finish my book. But really there isn't much going on with me. I need something new to do or read that will keep my mind busy. Any suggestions?

Thursday March 19

Ok, so officially my life sucks.

Last night was really alot of fun. Becky and I went to Sandy's were I texted turd monkey to see if he would like to come out for a beer. Surprised that he responded I got a message that said, I will have to get a raincheck. So I said he sucked and he said he knew that. He never said that Kori was over and that he was hanging with her. I don't think he really wants me to know, what does that mean? Anyone have an answer?

So after Sandy's we went to Post Road Pub, there were more people there and some decent music playing. But like 5 minutes later, most people left, again WTF? So we played two games of pool and then we texted Vinnie who was at work, he said that we might have more fun downtown so we went to Buffy's. Yeah, not so much.

Buffy's had like 8 people in it. And no music playing at all. I guess we just planned to go out on the wrong night. Springbreak in a college town sucks when you want to have fun.

But she and I chatted and we told each other our stories all night and only towards the end did we talk about work at all. It was great. The movie was hilarious as well, I highly recommend it to anyone wanting a funny movie to watch. But be warned, it is a chick flick and we really don't talk that way up here. You betcha!

So tonight I work 9p-7a and I hate that shift. I'm usually all alone after 2am until 7am. So it sucks! Oh well, I'm sure I'll survive it. Maybe.

Well that is really all I have for now. I'll try to write more tomorrow.

Well life sucks

So ladies and gentlemen, here is the update in my life.

Last night I learned that my dear friend Rich's ex-girlfriend, Ms. Jealousy is back in town. I wasn't too happy to learn this since I know if she has her way they will get back together. He told me before that she was 23 and now I learn that she isn't even 21. Rich will be 35 in April. I hope and pray that he doesn't get back together with her since like I said, she is extremely jealous of everything he does. Last year she accused him of sleeping with me, because we were talking before dinner one night. WTF is that about?

I had to go with Jacob to see a drug/alcohol counselor and I made sure to tell him what is really going on with Jacob. I hope it helps, time will tell I guess.

Going to a movie soon and then hanging with my friend Becky, later all.

My newest complaint

So here I've created this blog mostly for my dear sister who loves to read what I write and partly for the fact that Yahoo 360 is sucky and I can't depend on the postings there anymore. But anyway, here I go.

Today is St. Patrick's Day and a friend from work, Vinnie, wants me to go out and drink green beer with him. I'm cool with that but then I'm thinking really what's the point? So who knows what I'll do. But now, I'm sitting here typing and answering questions to my Dad, how does a blog work? What do I do to get one? etc etc etc.

So I got my 3 minutes of sex today. Woo Hoo, I think I need to pee now. he actually said to me, I think I should go see a doctor. Well duh. Who else but pubescent boys lasts only 3 minutes. At least I didn't mess up my hair right?

Again I'm excited to go out with the girls tomorrow. Becky is a hoot and Kirsten is the sweetest person I work with. Well at least one of them. We're going to see the movie New In Town and then Becky and I will be going out for a few cocktails. I'm really looking forward to it, I haven't had a girls night since I don't know when, perhaps my bachelorette party? I wish my sister were here, she would be a blast to hang out with as well, even though she drinks those girly drinks and not beer. Oh well, I still love her.

I've been using this really nice Cherry Blossom lotion from Wal-Mart but when it's empty I'm not sure if I want to get the same scent or try something different. I like vanilla and lavender and lilac but I really don't remember what is all available. Of the four scents I've mentioned what should I purchase next? Please let me know.

I suppose that I've written enough, I will post again tomorrow with an update of how my night went. So good bye and good night.