It's going to begin...

So I'm sitting here at work and I've made a major decision...well majorish for me at least. After finishing reading Bridget Jones Diary I think it is important for me to keep a record of my life. It's important enough to me so I think it would be interesting to others as well.

Today I weighed myself and seriously I'm gaining weight again! I feel completely fat and worthless and was ready to just cry at the number glowing up at me from the scale. I'll be honest it was 251.4. How I shudder to think how big I am and how big I may soon become. I'm only drinking water haven't had soda since January (of this I have lost no weight, whereas my husband can quit it and lose like 100 pounds, what gives?) My dearest friend Kirsten has lost 10 pounds this week and I too strive to do this. So therefore I will try the gluten free diet and at least try to limit my intake of processed foods. Luckily we have ZERO food in the house so it really shouldn't be too hard. Oops, forgot to take out chicken for tomorrows dinner. Gotta text the roomie.

I'm rereading the Laurell K. Hamilton books that I have and since I plan to take the one series on the train with me next week, I have to read the Merry Gentry series now. Luckily at work I can get a lot of reading done. Am also watching The Riches on Netflix. Awesome series so far, I really enjoy it.

So that takes care of my mind and body but really I feel as if something is missing in my life.

Oh yes I remember what it is...A Family.

Last night, since I'm being honest, I had an emotional breakdown. In the car on the way home I was listening to my MP3 and the song came on that will either always make me cry or at the very least make me remember. Well this time it started to make me cry and knowing I was driving I quickly changed it. However the damage was done. I got home and nobody was there yet, so I changed and lay down, shortly after I decided to go to sleep I began full out crying. Jake had to come in and keep me company until it passed, but still I felt awful and am still trying to keep it together even as I type this.

Oh dear I lost the battle.

That is what I have to tell at this time...perhaps more tomorrow, since it is my day off most likely not, Monday will be here soon enough.