It came upon a midnight clear....

So here I sit at work, I'm amazed that I can actually blog, since EVERYTHING is usually blocked.

Saturday was an awful day for me. I didn't think it would be. Jacob had to go into jail today to serve his 8 days. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. All week I knew it was coming and I was fine with it, actually truth be told, I was kinda looking forward to him being gone so I can do my own thing.

But when I got home from work this morning at 7am, Jacob was up and in the shower. I wandered around the house since I couldn't go to bed until I took him up there. I was starting to feel anxiety and fear about losing him.

So he got done with his shower and he exited the bathroom. I was in the hall picking up some dog hair, since Rogan routinely sheds chihuahua puppies in our house. Jacob came up to me and said, "Here I can't take this with me." He handed me his wedding ring. I took it and started to cry right away...almost like I am trying not to right now.

He held me and told me it would be okay, but how does he know it will be?

Well I got him to the jail and I was crying again, I'm just so scared. I tried to be "brave" for him but who are we kidding, I'm a wimp and we all know it. Or at least now you all do.

I gave him the last few pointers to try and make light of the situation. "Play nice with the other kids, give the teacher an apple, don't drop the soap, remember to sleep on your back, yell fire instead of rape, if you have a choice to be the catcher or pitcher, be the pitcher; Remember you are abstaining from all sexual releases so don't let anyone Dutch Rudder you"

After the pep talk, I went home, I called my sister and woke her up so I felt bad about that but I really just needed to talk to someone. Well I eventually got about 5 hours of sleep. Hurray! I get to go to work again...

So here I sit, still not feeling great but I'm here. I have plans for this week, I'm going to try (probably won't happen, don't get your hopes up) and clean and organize my house in 5 days. I'm not sure if I should just call in tomorrow since I really don't feel up to coming in, but we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Meanwhile, I'm emotional and on the verge of tears all night. How is that a good thing when I have to be on the phone?

Anyway, I'll sign off now, since I've said my piece and counted to three. (Anyone know what movie that line came out of?)